Doctrine #57: Marriage

How did people get married before there was a marriage ceremony? Clearly, the marriage ceremony was not established in the garden of Eden, yet Adam and Eve were married.

Some "christians" say it is better to get married and have a ceremony, with a legal document, because it makes a relationship more binding than two people who have an agreement with each other. Do you believe the governmental law is higher than God's Principles?

Your view of marriage is based on your Definition of marriage, your Definition of Fellowship, how important you feel Words are, Profitability, value, and how much you value the traditions of man.

Do people get legally married while they have a spiritual marriage covenant with another person? If they did, that could be a huge contributing factor in the failure of so many marriages.

Marriage is begun with one of three ways: vow, exchange of tokens, or intercourse. The covenant is "cut" (established) with sexual intercourse. Marriage is a covenant intended to generate spiritual value to excess (unlimited amount) to all of the persons in community (wife, husband, and God) in order to bring about God's Will on earth as it is in heaven.

Question: Do you believe the modern church holds the same doctrine on divorce and marriage as God's Word?

Next Doctrine: Doctrine #58

Table of Contents

If you need it, here is the support from the Word of God...

"1 Now Sarai, Abram's wife, bare him no children: and she had a handmaid, an Egyptian, whose name was Hagar.
2 And Sarai said unto Abram, Behold now, Jehovah hath restrained me from bearing; go in, I pray thee, unto my handmaid; it may be that I shall obtain children by her. And Abram hearkened to the voice of Sarai.
3 And Sarai, Abram's wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her handmaid, after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, and gave her to Abram her husband to be his wife.
4 And he went in unto Hagar, and she conceived: and when she saw that she had conceived, her mistress was despised in her eyes." (Genesis 16:1-4)

(Abram and Hagar were married when Abram had sexual intercourse ("he went in") with Hagar that Sarai was in agreement with. Sex was the effect of the agreement, and marriage was an effect of consensual sex. There were two wives and a husband in this marriage covenant, pretty complex, but all were in agreement.)

"67 And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah's tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife. And he loved her. And Isaac was comforted after his mother's death." (Genesis 24:67)

(Rebekah became Isaac's wife because of sexual intercourse: "took".)

"21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him. And he went in unto her.
24 And Laban gave Zilpah his handmaid unto his daughter Leah for a handmaid.
25 And it came to pass in the morning that, behold, it was Leah. And he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? Did not I serve with thee for Rachel? Wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
26 And Laban said, It is not so done in our place, to give the younger before the first-born.
27 Fulfil the week of this one, and we will give thee the other also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.
28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week. And he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife." (Genesis 29:21-28)

(Again, marriage was an effect of sexual intercourse. There was no ceremony. In this story, there was a feast. The traditional church tells their youth group, "Don't have sex before marriage! It is a sin!" When in all actuality God intended consensual sex to be covenantal. You can't have sex before marriage because consensual sex is marriage.)

"16 And if a man entice a virgin that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely pay a dowry for her to be his wife." (Exodus 22:16)

(Notice a virgin can be betrothed through a vow or exchange of tokens. If the virgin was not betrothed, then intercourse equaled marriage.)

"7 And what man is there that hath betrothed a wife, and hath not taken her? let him go and return unto his house, lest he die in the battle, and another man take her." (Deuteronomy 20:7)

(This was another example of betrothed virgins. This passage said for the man to consummate the covenant before he went into battle.)

"28 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, that is not betrothed, lay hold on her, and lie with her and they be found;
29 then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel's father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife, because he hath humbled her; he may not put her away all his days." (Deuteronomy 22:28-29)

(A virgin not betrothed who has intercourse was married.)

"31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and the two shall become one flesh." (Ephesians 5:31)

"24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh." (Genesis 2:24)

(The Bible stated intercourse made the married couple "one flesh". Intercourse is an intentional act. You CANNOT slip on a banana peel and have intercourse! It is a statement of your will with your body that you are in agreement with that other person. Cleaving is a Doctrine many people do not understand. Cleaving was done by the man. Cleave meant "to serve, to stick to, to join to")

"18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found with child of the Holy Spirit.
19 And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man, and not willing to make her a public example, was minded to put her away privily." (Matthew 1:18-19)

(Joseph and Mary were betrothed. The word betrothed in verse 18 was Strong's #3423 mnesteuo - "to give a souvenir"...a token. Mary was found to be pregnant, however, this took place before Joseph had sexual intercourse with Mary. So, Joseph thought Mary was married to someone else. This would make Mary look like an unbeliever, so Joseph, who was righteous, was minded to put her away. If Joseph thought Mary was a believer, he would have divorced her. Joseph did not want to make a public example of her. THAT was why he would do it privily. Putting away was normally done publicly so that men in the greater community knew she wasn't a believer. Perhaps Joseph thought her pregnancy would serve this same purpose.)

"1 When a man taketh a wife, and marrieth her, then it shall be, if she find no favor in his eyes, because he hath found some unseemly thing in her, that he shall write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house.
2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's wife.
3 And if the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and give it in her hand, and send her out of his house; or if the latter husband die, who took her to be his wife;
4 her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled; for that is abomination before Jehovah: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which Jehovah thy God giveth thee for an inheritance." (Deuteronomy 24:1-4)

(This was the Doctrine of divorce according to the Law. Only a man could divorce a woman. A woman could not divorce a man. We have seen putting away ended a marriage and removed one of the spouses from the greater community because of unbelief (fornication). This passage showed divorce ended the marriage and allowed the woman to remain in community. It even allowed her to get married to someone else in community. The husband was required to give the divorced woman a bill of divorcement. This proved she was not married to another man. Why?)

"13 If any man take a wife, and go in unto her, and hate her,
14 and lay shameful things to her charge, and bring up an evil name upon her, and say, I took this woman, and when I came nigh to her, I found not in her the tokens of virginity;
15 then shall the father of the damsel, and her mother, take and bring forth the tokens of the damsel's virginity unto the elders of the city in the gate;
16 and the damsel's father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;
17 and, lo, he hath laid shameful things to her charge, saying, I found not in thy daughter the tokens of virginity; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter's virginity. And they shall spread the garment before the elders of the city.
18 And the elders of that city shall take the man and chastise him;
19 and they shall fine him a hundred shekels of silver, and give them unto the father of the damsel, because he hath brought up an evil name upon a virgin of Israel: and she shall be his wife; he may not put her away all his days.
20 But if this thing be true, that the tokens of virginity were not found in the damsel;
21 then they shall bring out the damsel to the door of her father's house, and the men of her city shall stone her to death with stones, because she hath wrought folly in Israel, to play the harlot in her father's house: so shalt thou put away the evil from the midst of thee." (Deuteronomy 22:13-21)

(A virgin could show she wasn't married to another man because she produced a blood-stained sheet when the marriage was consummated. A divorced woman could not physically produce a blood-stained sheet, so the bill of divorcement took the place of the blood-stained sheet. In the above passage, if she didn't produce a blood-stained sheet and the husband accused her, she was killed because she was a fornicator (unbeliever). Notice, the husband couldn't put her away ever after he falsely accused her. Why? The husband's judgment of who was and wasn't a believer had been compromised. Notice, he could still divorce her.)

"10 And in the house the disciples asked him again of this matter.
11 And he saith unto them, Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her:
12 and if she herself shall put away her husband, and marry another, she committeth adultery." (Mark 10:10-12)

(A husband or a wife could put away their spouse if their spouse wasn't a believer; if they committed fornication (covenantal worship with another god either directly or through intercourse with an unbeliever). However, if a spouse put away their spouse for any reason other than fornication, God still considered them to be married, and all intercourse with others was adultery. Some versions of the Bible have Jesus saying "divorce" instead of "put away". If Jesus said "divorce", then verse 11 would say the Law results in sin! We saw the Law's Doctrine of divorce allowed for a man to divorce his wife for a reason other than fornication. If Jesus said "divorce", then verse 12 would say that Jesus didn't know the Law! A wife could not divorce her husband. Either of these two wrong statements would make Jesus NOT the Son of God, if He really said it like these versions of the Bible stated.)

We have learned the building blocks for the way God measures a marriage covenant. Why is it important to know God's metrics for marriage? The answer is the meaning of life...

Take a close look at Abram's covenant with God...

"9 And he said unto him, Take me a heifer three years old, and a she-goat three years old, and a ram three years old, and a turtle-dove, and a young pigeon.
10 And he took him all these, and divided them in the midst, and laid each half over against the other: but the birds divided he not.
11 And the birds of prey came down upon the carcasses, and Abram drove them away.
12 And when the sun was going down, a deep sleep fell upon Abram; and, lo, a horror of great darkness fell upon him.
13 And he said unto Abram, Know of a surety that thy seed shall be sojourners in a land that is not theirs, and shall serve them; and they shall afflict them four hundred years;
14 and also that nation, whom they shall serve, will I judge: and afterward shall they come out with great substance.
15 But thou shalt go to thy fathers in peace; thou shalt be buried in a good old age.
16 And in the fourth generation they shall come hither again; for the iniquity of the Amorite is not yet full.
17 And it came to pass, that, when the sun went down, and it was dark, behold, a smoking furnace, and a flaming torch that passed between these pieces.
18 In that day Jehovah made a covenant with Abram, saying, Unto thy seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto the great river, the river Euphrates:" (Genesis 15:9-18)

Abram put bloody pieces of heifer, goat, and ram across from each other. Then there was a smoking furnace and a burning lamp that passed between those fur covered bloody pieces of flesh. The covenant was consummated. Marriage is covenantal...